i held out for longer this time around, but my forced motivation now gets me nowhere, and even that bit's running out. no matter what i do, i end up in the same exact spot.

i keep searching for that something that will make things better, but i seem to be looking in all the wrong places, because i haven't found it yet. and i doubt i ever will. i doubt such a thing even exists. i have years of experience.

i break so easily... story of my life.
here i lie once again - broken.

pretending to smile through the cracks will only bring on more tears later... so why bother?

those who once inspired me now disgust me, yet i cling onto them with such deperation because without them i am but a speck of dust.

who am i kidding? i am nothing either way. so i'll just sweep my shatters under the carpet, out of everyone's way, and hope that one day someone can come along with powerful enough glue to put me back together... bring me back to life...
(i just hope they find all my pieces, because every time i break i seem to lose a few... which always makes it harder the next time around, and makes me more fragile in between.)

until then.. i'll be sitting, waiting quietly under the rug, as i lack the energy to do anything else.

try not to step on me.